Your Honor Is Showing

It amazes me at how young our precious children begin to show that sin nature they were born with.  It is almost immediately!  My 18-month old already has fits of temper when he does not get his way, and defiantly says, "No" if I ask him to do something he doesn't like.  But as a Mom (or any parent) it is our job to continue teaching our children through these tough moments.  Don't get me wrong, I have great kids that love to listen and obey (sometimes), but that immature and selfish part of them shows from time-to-time.

So what do we do to combat this?  I have a lot of patience, do a lot of praying, and we communicate all the time!  Yes, I have long and meaningful conversations with my toddlers.  Actually, I started having these conversations with them when they were still in the womb.  I truly believe that learning begins even before birth and does not end here on earth until we take our final breath.  I also know that our children will act as old as we treat them, so I always treat them as if they do/will understand; but I also make sure they understand and not just assume they do. 

OK, so you communicate...what else?  I try to teach them manners, obedience, respect and honor.  These can be so easy to teach and so tricky to teach all at the same time! 

Manners are something that my hubby and I have taught our kiddos from day 1, and it has been successful.  Simple things like saying 'please', 'thank you', 'sorry', 'may I', 'yes Mam', 'no Sir'...  We just simply remind them to say these phrases at appropriate times, and we use them ourselves; after all, we can't expect our children to do something that we don't do ourselves.  And guess what, both of kids use these phrases almost without fail.  Actually, if one of my kids forgets to say one of those, like 'thank you', the other child says it for them...really cute!  So if you want to incorporate manners it isn't too difficult.

Obedience is a little trickier than manners because now we are dealing with the child's own personal will and sin nature.  They are quick to obey if it is something they want to do, or if you bribe them, but what about when it is something they don't care about or simply don't understand?  I have found that obedience is easier for them when they comprehend the 'why' behind the task or question from Dad or Mom.  One example would be when my son climbs up and stands on our glass table.  I could simply yell at him to get down and get angry when he doesn't obey, because as you know standing on that table is really fun.  Or I can tell him to get down so he doesn't fall and so the glass doesn't break because that would hurt.  Not only is he more inclined to listen to the explanation, but he may think twice before getting back up on that table next time!

Respect is a whole other creature.  It is a mixture of obedience and understanding along with desire.  Huh?  Well, for instance, my daughter once went through a stage where she loved to pull on my shirt and clothes (now my son is in that stage).  I can yell and get aggravated telling her to stop ALL DAY LONG, or I can explain.  "Sissy, don't pull on Mommy's shirt because it can stretch it out or tear it, and then it would be ruined.  Remember, we respect our clothes and don't destroy them."  Ah Ha!  Now I see, we respect them and don't destroy them.  We do the same thing with our toys.  Can you believe that with two children ages 18-months and 4-years old that we have never lost or broken a toy?  That is also part of teaching respect.  After playing all day we have our kids put their toys away (we actually do the majority of the putting away, but they help) and while singing the 'Clean Up' song we also tell them that we put the toys back where they belong so we will always know where they are when we want to play with them next time.  We respect our things so we don't have to replace them.  Somehow the idea of respect rings true in their little minds already.

Honor?!?!?  Now how do you teach honor?  I'm not really sure.  I think of honor as a desire to please and respect.  Wikipedia defines honor as: 'an abstract concept entailing a perceived quality of worthiness and respectability that affects both the social standing and the self-evaluation of an individual or corporate body such as a family, school, regiment or nation.'  So basically we become worthy of honor through respect!  Wow, that is intense.  The Bible has a lot to say about children honoring their parents.  Actually, honor is the first commandment that also comes with a promise.  What is the promise?  That you may live long in the land the Lord is giving you!  OK, so pretty important.  I think you teach honor by being an honorable person.  By lavishing love and grace over your children, and by honoring those in authority over you.  Yup.  So if your children or others do not honor you then evaluate what you are doing to get/recieve that honor...your answer may lie there.  I will find out when my kids become teenagers and adults, but for now I will relish having my little ones honor me to the degree they can, just as I learn to honor my God above.

“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— Ephesians 6:2

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5:16

Do you have good manners?  Do you teach your children good manners?  What are manners anyway?  How about obedience, respect and honor...how do you handle those?  Leave your comments below and let's learn from eachother!